In response, Zoba began to narrate how a similar incident had happened to her elder sister. Nkiru was the first of the five girls, and Zoba was the immediate younger one, and so both girls make a perfect gossip-band. Their bond was quite thick. Even KC admits of this. NK, as she is fondly called, got married immediately after her National Service year. She had dated Emmanuel for close to 3 years since the beginning of her 300 level in Biochemistry. At that time, Emmanuel was a final year student of Architecture with a very promising future, having gotten a high paying job with the Strabag Construction Company during his 400 level. Emmanuel is a definition of gentility.
Emmanuel is Anglican while Nkiru is Catholic. Upon agreeing to get married, church became an issue to be resolved. Nkiru was not yielding to the idea of getting married in an Anglican Church as suggested by Emma. Besides, her parents are strong members of Knights of St. John International. Her father, Chief Iheanyi Okeke had served as the parish Chairman for two consecutive tenures some years back, and is reputed for his strong faith. Even without the pressure of her parents, Nkiru was able to convince Emmanuel to have a Catholic wedding to which he reluctantly agreed. He however insists on keeping his Anglican faith.
On that fateful afternoon, the intending couple had gone to the office to see the parish priest to notify him of their decision to wed, and to register for the obligatory Marriage Course. They had first met Catechist Tunji who upon hearing their case, referred them to the priest. Emmanuel informs the priest that he is ready to have a Catholic wedding but not ready to become a Catholic afterwards. This did not go down well with Fr. Benedict who advised that it is better that the couple belong to the same church. He informs them that even though Emmanuel does not need to be baptized, he would be officially accepted into the Catholic faith before the wedding can go on. “But Fr., is there no other way to do this?” asked Nkiru, who was now very uncomfortable with the breeding tension. “I am sorry, but that is what is obtainable” insists Fr. Benedict. For reasons best known to him, he had chosen not to offer them the possibility of mixed marriage. Perhaps due to the fact he has never performed it before, or because he doesn’t want to engage the diocesan secretariat in getting the needed approval, or because he considers this marriage as an opportunity for ‘converting’ Emma into the Catholic Church, or even for the often rehashed myth that it is better that both belong to the same church for peace and unity in the family. “Go and think about it” he admonishes them.
Their faces were nothing cheerful at all. “I told you,” Emmanuel complains to NK, visibly disappointed. Nkiru however remained optimistic that a workable solution can be reached. Zoba recalls how she came back that day with a gloomy face as she narrates the experience at the priest’s office and recalls Emmanuel’s reaction.
At this point, Zoba, in some measure of self-importance, then says to KC “You see,I don become una complaint box.”
Then, she adds “Anyway, I hope say my own go just dey smooth ooo. Me I no wan wahala. At all, at all!”
“My dear, your own go better,” KC responds.
“So wetin happen after, you know say me I no dey around for that wedding sha?” asked KC.
Zoba then continued the story.
Nkiru had appealed to her parents to intervene. They did. Fr. Benedict insisted. Eventually, out of anger, Nkiru decides to wed in the Anglican Church with Emmanuel. The wedding took place without the inner joy that could have accompanied the young girl. She was so disappointed with Fr. Benedict, though still grateful that she married the man of her dreams. For a long time, after the marriage, she tried to be active in the Anglican Church yet she feels a certain emptiness and lack of spiritual satisfaction. She however does not miss the opportunity to attend Mass whenever she visits her parents. She appears torn between two worlds, but has always comforted herself with the cliche that ‘it’s the same God’.
In recalling this, Zoba who was now feeling the seriousness of the case at hand, consoles her friend: “I don’t want you to suffer like my sister. We have to get your priest-friend involved. We need to change this narrative. I will even talk to Ken myself. Come on, what is his problem sef? You deserve to be happy both in your love life and in your spiritual life, both during dating and in marriage. Listen girlfriend, I think you should stay true to yourself because, let me tell you, whatever cannot be managed before marriage stays sour even after marriage.”
“Huh!” exclaims the visibly surprised KC, as if she’s been hit by the unexpected. “Girl, I never knew you have so much wisdom in you before now.”
“Isi aki” says Zoba, referring to KC. “Oya, get up! Make we find something chop. Abeg. After that, we are heading straight to the chapel, and thereafter we’ll go see your priest-friend.” Zoba commands, feeling like a boss.
Alongside One Another 
Exactly!!!👌
“Stay true to yourself”
“whatever cannot be managed before marriage stays sour even after marriage”..
You just made my day Sir.
God bless you.
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Thanks for your kind comment Chinelo. Please keep sharing with friends and groups. God bless!
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Sehr gut.
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Vielen Dank, Mazi!
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Well articulated.. Literally Evangelism. Kudos
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Thank you Godwin. Please help us share the message. Regards!
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Church affiliation shouldn’t be a yardstick for measuring spirituality.
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Thank you for your contribution, Obinna. God bless!
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I hope it ends better for KC. I believe our priests can do better in helping people in such situations stay faithful to Christ through the Church and in love with their partners. They should be clear on all acceptable options and not be stumbling blocks to the lay faithfuls’ marriage vocations.
Again, kudos to you Padre for a message succinctly passed through a nice art of storytelling.
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Thanks a lot Chima. I am just trying to raise awareness of this responsibility on all sides. God bless you!
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People should be judged by the content of their character and not by their church, tribe , nationality n much more. We normally turn to forget the substance of marriage and chase the shadows. When there is true love without selfishness or ego involve, when we start thinking of what to sacrifice to make the other happy n better instead thinking of what the other person has to sacrifice to make u happy, every mountain could be brought down. God bless u Rev
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That was quite solid Shella. God bless!
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Though it’s been quite overused.The truth still remains that there is just one and the same God.
My sincere desire is that this fact “it’s the same God” that should flame up the light of unity should stop being put aside and used only as a consolation.
I’ve enjoyed the story so far.I’ll keep reading!!!
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Thanks a lot Chidimma for your contribution. Our differences are beautiful but they shouldn’t make us lose sight of what I refer to as ‘our commons’, namely our common paternity and destiny. God bless you!
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He did share @Godwin, that’s how I saw it. Nice message Fr.
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Bless you, Michael!
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Very true. Whatever cannot be managed before marriage, stays sour even after marriage. Great story staying glued.
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Very true. Whatever cannot be managed before marriage, stays sour even after marriage. Great story staying glued.
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Hmmmmmm. So what solution will her Priest friend provide? Padre, do you think the Catholic church is too rigid in her rules? I have 2 friends in this situation now, they are no longer with the Catholic Church. I really want to know what the outcome will be.
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Thanks Evelyn for the question and response. The truth is that the Catholic Church is not strict on this, in that way. The Church provides for mixed marriage, where a Catholic and marry a non-Catholic, and it is even possible for a Catholic for marry non-Christian. But there are some set-guidelines. You can check the Code of Canon Law on ‘Mixed Marriages’ on this link (http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P41.HTM). I think the problem is that 1) some priests do not help the people to have this kind of marriage, and 2) some men feel that wives MUST switch over their husbands’ churches under the erroneous myth that being in the same church is a sign of unity in the family. I am not saying that being in the same church can enhance unity and love in the family, but we can also learn how to respect differences in opinion, faith, spirituality, and so on.
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This story is heart melting! Ladies should not be forced to renounce their faith all in the name of marriage, but it is not really easy to convince a man in cases like this. But i don’t know why it should be a case, just that perception differs. Situations like this requires careful decision,understanding and mutual agreement between both families, what really matters is love, peace and rest of mind after marriage and not church.
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Thank you so much Kelechi for your wonderful comment. I totally agree with you. God bless!
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I believe that church should not be a barrier in marriage because if we truly believe that we worship one true God as Christians, then we should learn to accept people from other denominations.
Nice article, keep up the good work!
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Thank you very much Chizoba for your comment. God bless!
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