My name is Rev. Fr. Chris and I want to tell you a story about my bestie: Naza (short for Chinaza) is my bestie. Yes, you heard me. She is my cousin, one that has been very close to me, having known me through and through. I was the older one. She calls me ‘uncle’ when she was still a baby. But today, having become a woman that she is, with all the confidence that adorns her very exciting and impressive life, she now calls me ‘bestie’. They say that your bestie is not necessarily your boyfriend or girlfriend which often includes sexual intimacy of some sort, but refers to your ‘everything-everything’. And that means your gossip-mate, gist partner, confidant, and best friend. I remember visiting their family in the dusty outskirts of Lagos, and the dad, my in-law had offered me a room to sleep but Naza will not have me sleep alone. Reason? There is so much to talk about that we can’t waste the night sleeping in separate rooms. And so we spent the night ‘gisting’ after our prayers till we got tired. At day break, the torycontinued.
She has always been there for me as I have always been there for her. She has shared my deepest worries and I have carried her tears in my palms severally. I was the only family at her Matriculation at the University of Portharcourt, and was there too at her Convocation four years later. Not even the traffic jam of Choba road could stop me. I remember vividly my friend, Fr. Emeka, asking me to drive the car with some sense of purpose as we struggled to beat the traffic the wrong way on our way back from the Convocation. I was the one who dropped her off at the motor park as she left for National Service at Makurdi, and equally picked her up at the end of the camp. In turn, she has always looked out for me. I remember during my priestly ordination she had to bulldoze her way through the security in order to be with me. She kept insisting ‘He’s my uncle’. Not even the fact that she was in trousers could stop her. Thank God, Victor was there to help! Sometimes, she would spend her last penny to travel all the way down from Lagos to spend a weekend with me in Aba. I don’t mean in the city but in Isiala-Ngwa, Umunkpeyi – Mvosi. Who does that? Only the Ama-alaswill know where I’m talking about. To know me well, you have to know Naza. No apologies!
The very first day she had to stay with me on a Sunday, Naza had complained to me ‘Uncle, I don’t know what to wear for Mass,’ not because she had no clothes ready but because she was calling my attention to help her make the best choice. It’s a fun game. Then came the next question ‘Uncle, what is the time for Mass?’ And in order respect her Christian identity, I replied, ‘Wouldn’t want to find any Redeemed church around?’ to which she quickly responded ‘No-o-o-o Uncle, I’m worshipping with you!’ Sorry, I didn’t inform you that she is not a Catholic. Well, she wasn’t born one either. Make no mistake about it, Naza is a very staunch member of her church, Redeemed Christian Church of God. I remember very vividly how active she was in Campus Ministry during her undergraduate days. As someone who is not given to too much socialization, especially when it is not a fruitful one, Naza is either bent over her books or in the church participating in one activity or the other. Most times, our discussion, when not concerned about academic matters, is filled with exchanges concerning faith, the Bible, politics or just arguments on life issues. Unlike the heated debates that many people engage in when it comes to church issues, she asks for clarification while offering her views also in an air of openness and maturity. That makes it easier to relate with Naza in every sort of discussion.
My relationship with my bestie makes me wonder why so many families are divided on the matter of the same faith in Christ. I find it hard to understand. Should I reject my brother or sister because she attends another church? Would Jesus want us to destroy our family because we have different understanding of who Jesus is in our lives? Maybe I need to give it blunt to you: If you want, you can go ahead and destroy your family, your relationship and friendship because of belonging to different denominations. I shall never throw away my Catholic faith and I can never force anyone to throw away his or her own. And I am convinced that Daddy G.O. can never convince Naza to turn away from me, neither can the Pope convince me to turn away from my bestie. Why? Because she is my bestie. Even Jesus knows! And you know what? He is cool with it. And right now, you know it too. So, you had better be cool with it too!
Alongside One Another 
Oh! What a reliable companion, sister and confidant. She is your bestie indeed, i wish her a peaceful home.
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I bet Fr. Chris would wish her same indeed. Thanks for reading. God bless!
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This is a very needed but challenging difficult topic in our Christian faith.
In some cases there is a sharp difference in the thought pattern and viewpoint of both parties..hence making it difficult to relate with each other.
It goes even beyond fellow Christians and cuts across other religions. Someone once asked me how a Muslim can maintain marry a Christian and raise children together without one abandoning her or his faith or compromising convictions?
Mazi.. this writeup deserves a wider outreach.
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Thanks Godwin. I appreciate your concerns. Sometimes, the only way of answering those questions is to point to those who have managed to do it. These are difficult questions but we cannot but continue wrestling with them. God bless you. Feel free to share!
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The truth is that we let a lot of irrelevant things define our relationships with people. We tend to forget that we are all humans and yet we judge others by race,color,wealth,and now church. We are all Christians and we serve the same God , if being a winner or a redeemer, or a catholic, or a Pentecostal makes me worship God better then i should be allowed to enjoy every bit with of without fear of being neglected or disassociated with. The real church is in our hearts and we have the power to decide what kind of relationship we want to have with God and not our pastors or priest. For me I would always advise, be at the very place where you worship God in spirit and in truth without holding back, where you can pour out your mind to God and communicate with him, where you can walk in low and sad and walk out spirit filled and all excited for God, that is the essence of true worship. Feel it in your heart and not in humans, don’t let people determine where and how you worship your God and at the same time don’t determine for others. Live with love and spread the love.
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Thanks a lot Cheezey for your contribution. God bless!
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Denomination is not a guarantee to heaven and should not come between our relationship with others, if we truly belong to the umbrella called “Christians’. Let’s represent God well because he created us in his image and likeness. No discrimination.
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Thanks a lot Chizoba for the comment. Denomination is also important in giving people stability in their spiritual life, so we cannot do away with it. The idea behind the story is not actually to do away with one’s church identity, but to say that in spite of it, love triumphs.
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I am very sure alot of people are going to read this and I hope they understand that ones denomination/faith is not in anyway a criterion for choosing who to associate with. I am a Catholic, good, and you are a Pentecostal, even better. We are all Christians and we worship same God that is what actually matters. Thanks for this piece. It’s awesome!!!
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Thanks a lot Chinenye for the comment. Yes, you are right, we are all Christians, and as such, our dialogue concerning our divergent understanding of the Christian revelation ought to be a ‘fraternal wrestling in love’ and not a matter of enmity and war.
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We would have had a society with a much more peaceful couple relationship (irrespective of denomination/religion)…but that is if, and only if couples or intending couples would borrow the lenses of fr.Chris and his bestie..
This write-up reminds me of the Fasholas.. One of them is Babatunde (the former governor of Lagos state,and present minister of power,works &housing) He’s a Muslim but married to a Christian (catholic ), same with his brother and i even learnt his mother (Catholic) was married to a Muslim.
We just need to think outside the box often times.
God bless you for this write up Pas…
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Thanks a lot Kachi for your kind comments. Just keep sharing the message. God bless!
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The Amalas definitely know.
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Lols! Thanks Cynthia for the comment. God bless!
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Once a relationship is based on true and undiluted love then nothing stands on the way of that friendship. It is in this kind of friendship that we find the love of Christ manifested. Its quite natural and un biased.no one feels superior to the other based on their denomination. More blessed yrs to Rev Chris n his bestie.
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I’m forwarding this to few people I know and I hope this write up changes their mindset
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Thanks a lot Cherish. I appreciate.
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